Yes, you heard me. A trash magpie.
Let me explain. I spent about 9 hours in Little Miss 13's bedroom yesterday giving it the biggest spring clean it has ever seen and the things I threw away, woah nelly! Four bags of rubbish so far and I still haven't finished the job, and two bags of things for the Op-Shop donation bin and there will be more going there as well.
And what have I learnt about my teenager in the process other than that she is a master collector of shit? Well, it appears she is trying to do an Icarus and escape the household chores because the place was covered in bundles of feathers from enormous peacock ones to tiny budgie ones. Actually, note to self - go and check the budgies as there were way too many feathers from them and I'm thinking naked birds won't do well with winter coming along.
She also has a rock/crystal collection which is great, I've bought her many pieces myself and even a beautiful basket to keep them all in but were they there? Of course not. A third of them I found in her bed, under her pillow (along with half the sand from the beach), as apparently someone told her it was good karma to sleep with them under your pillow. Thanks guy!
She also is the biggest slob around. She moans that her bedroom is at the furthest end of the house to the laundry and this is her broken record excuse as to why her floor is always covered with dirty clothes. I actually countered this last year and bought her a laundry bag that hangs on her door. Is it used? Nope, she has just hung more bags/wet towels/school projects over it and continued to use the floor.
What I have relished doing through all this is throwing away things I didn't like or found incredibly annoying. That giant magenta feather duster that hangs on her wall? Just picked up by my weekly garbage man. The fairy mobile she made five years ago? In a bag destined for the local op-shop. Hee hee, that bit has been quite fun and 100% guilt-free.
I did warn both daughters that if it got to the stage where I would have to go in there and sort their bedrooms out for them, then I would be getting rid of whatever I wanted, no questions. Little Miss 11 doesn't mind at all, although amazingly, her bedroom isn't looking half-bad, but Miss 13, well now she should know not to doubt mummy when I say something.
So, I will finish the job today and she has been warned that if that room returns to a state of disrepair anytime in the next 5 years, then she will be getting a major hell breaking loose episode played out especially for her. I even scrubbed the windows, sills, shelves and walls for crying out loud. She owes me big-time.
I will tackle Little Miss 11's on friday I think. Tomorrow is my day off everything and I am looking forward to it immensely. I took this week off to chill-out and I have ended up spring cleaning the children's bedrooms. Gawd, that's parenthood for ya.
The Seven Days of Peter Crumb - Jonny Glynn
5 years ago